With each new winter holiday it seems like more and more products are battery operated, move, and sing songs or make loud noises. Many of these toys activate when they detect nearby sound or motion. Perhaps the most famous is the James Brown doll that sings, “I feel good!” and does a little jig whenever you shout at it or touch it (sometimes inappropriately). They are fun at first, but after the 20th time a family member sets one off, most feel a burning desire to kick the toy across the room and stomp on it until it dies. I used to hate these toys too, until I discovered they make a great ally when it comes to scaring the pants off your family, friends, and coworkers.
After Christmas and Hanukkah have rolled past, don’t dare putting your motion or sound activated toy in the attic. Keep the loudest toy out and place it in your kitchen cupboard or bathroom closet to scare the hell out of your wife the next time she opens the door. She will think she is alone and then be scared stiff as all of the sudden something unknown to her is two feet away and making a terrible commotion.
The first time I tried this was with a singing, dancing Frosty the Snowman that had been purchased with other holiday knickknacks to cheer up our office. One late evening I was the last to leave and placed Frosty under a coworker’s desk. When she came in the next morning and sat down at her desk, her leg tapped Frosty and he belted out his typical, “Frosty the Snowman was a jolly soul they say.” Instinctively, while screaming, she kicked Frosty and at the same time damn near pissed her pants. It is the middle of summer and Frosty is still lurking around our office, at times even scaring myself.