I have to give my younger sister, Katie, credit for turning me onto this prank. When we were very young we used to fight over Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll snacks. We were out of control and loved to mow down on these health food snacks. In case you didn’t know, Swiss Cake rolls are rolled up, flattened chocolate devil’s food cake, covered with a white cream icing and then coated with a thin layer of chocolate.
My sister and I often fought on a daily basis, as many siblings do, and hardly ever did each other favors. That is why I was greatly surprised, while I watching Saturday morning cartoons, when she offered to bring me a Swiss Cake roll from the kitchen. I thought the gesture was a little out of the ordinary for her to be so generous but accepted her kind offer. As I had not yet eaten breakfast, my mouth began to salivate almost immediately, thinking of the chocolate goodie that was soon to be delivered. Katie seemed to take forever and I even yelled at her from the couch asking her what the holdup was. She yelled back that she was almost finished. After about 10 minutes she returned with two rolls on a saucer and to my astonishment even had poured me a small glass of milk. I was truly impressed and thanked her. She went back into the kitchen and returned with two rolls and glass of milk for herself.
I began eating the cake rolls immediately with eyes still transfixed to the television, watching my favorite cartoon, The Smurfs. As I devoured he cake rolls I vaguely began to notice a funny taste that I couldn’t quite pin down. In vain, I tried to identify the strange flavor and even went so far as to cup my hand around my mouth to waft the strange flavor into my nostrils in the hopes my nose could help make out this sickening taste. I began to think that the cake rolls were perhaps rotten or very old and after finishing my milk decided I needed to further wash the taste out of my mouth with a glass of water. As I went into the kitchen, I noticed a plate, holding a knife and a cut up white onion, sitting on the table. There were still small slivers of unused onion sitting on the plate and a few littered the tablecloth below. In a flash I knew what she had done. She had completely unrolled the cake rolls and placed the tiny slivers in with the white cream icing and then rolled the cake roll back up. No wonder it had taken her so long to get the cake rolls.
I bellowed, “KAAATIE!” She ran by the kitchen and down the hall as fast as she could, slammed her door shut, and locked it as speedily as she could, fearing some sort of physical retaliation. Under normal circumstances I probably would have done just that, but I was completely floored by what my 6-year old sister had just accomplished. Instead of being angry, I started laughing. To even think of this joke was a stroke of genius for a child of her age. What made this practical joke so perfect is that you never expect to find or taste the combination of a sweet dessert paired with the overpowering flavor of the onion. Eating chocolate and onions together totally offends the palate. After that day, I had much more respect for my sister. I realized even though we had our differences, deep down we shared the same sense of humor.
Nowadays, at family gatherings or summer pitch-ins, I like to pull this unsavory little gag out to share with my friends and loved ones. Everyone loves pitch-ins because there is such a smörgåsbord of foods and desserts, which you will be able to target. Before you head out to the festivities, make sure to take some chopped up onions with you to your friend’s party. Keep them in a sandwich bag in your pocket for easy access and when no one is in the kitchen, stuff a few of the onions onto one of the pieces of dessert. For example, use a knife to smear a couple into the icing of a cupcake or poke a few into the middle of a chewy chocolate chip brownie. Let a few choice friends in on the gag so they don’t take the tainted portions. They will also want to sit back with you and watch out for your other friends to take the bait. Watch the victim’s face turn from a look of contentment to disgust as they bite down on the section that contains your dirty piece of onion. To me, this nasty food practical joke is comedy at its finest.