Ever send an anonymous package or piece of mail that looks like it is from someone else or another organization? If not, now is a great time to start. This joke has endless variation, limitless potential for humor, and you can choose how much effort you wish to put into the gag. For example, you could just send an unsigned greeting card that says “I hate you” to a friend on their birthday with no return address, or you could put together a large package that looks like it came from a catalog company or government agency. My father used to send blank greeting cards to my uncle. Not knowing whom the cards were coming from and why they were being sent to him drove him mad. For an example that took quite a bit of time and energy, check out the section “Do You Hate Chain Mail” later in this chapter.
Here are some items I either have sent or think would be funny to send off to friends and family:
- Mail a latex glove with a note that says, “Can you guess what this was used for?”
- Used porn magazine and nothing else.
- Letter that looks like it comes from the animal control board, letting your neighbor know they have 2 weeks to clean up their act or their dogs will be taken.
- Candy wrappers or single pieces of chewing gum.
- Half eaten cheeseburger in a box.
- Send an official looking letter with $10-$40 explaining you are the client and executor of their distant relative who passed away. The letter could state that Mr. John Smith left instructions for you to mail this money to a few surviving relatives. Mr. Smith was disappointed his family did not keep in touch after moving to different areas of the United States and now wants the family to come together once again. All they must do to collect a sizable inheritance, is contact one of the immediate surviving family members within 2 months. Say that Mr. Smith’s immediate family resides in a large city, like Chicago. Just look up Smith in the Chicago phone book. Good luck, buddy!
There are a few details that can really make these jokes successful. Depending on the contents of the letter or package and whom the item is supposed to be from, you may want to mail it from outside your city. This way your friends do not suspect you when they see where the envelope or package was originally postmarked. You could even send the item to a different friend in another city and ask him or her to mail it for you. Make sure they cannot decipher who sent the parcel by identifying your handwriting; you could either type the letter and envelope on the computer or have someone else handwrite the note for you.
If you can somehow manage to get your victim’s credit card number you will have done yourself a tremendous favor. You can have a heyday with those secret little digits. In fact, all you really need are the last 4 digits of the credit card to make it look like someone has purchased the items that appear in your fake receipt and purchase order that you will create. Send them a letter thanking them for ordering the $2100 aboveground swimming pool. Make sure to include a brochure of a local pool dealer to make the purchase look legitimate. If you can snag all the digits and the expiration date of your victim’s credit card, why not actually order a few goodies that will be delivered to their house. Your best friend will have a hard time answering to his furious wife when she signs for the delivery and upon opening the package finds the newest Girls Gone Wild video and Ben Dover’s Backdoor Babes.