If you have a friend that is a little homophobic, you can really rattle their chain by sending them a letter welcoming them to a local gay and lesbian association chapter. I came up with this idea after seeing and buying an envelope in a gag store that was watermarked with “Gay & Lesbian Society.” Across the very bottom of the envelope read, “Proud & Loud, It’s our Right!!!!” Today there are a bevy of various gag envelopes to embarrass your friends and family, they typically are written with something considered socially taboo sprawled across the top and they all look pretty damn fake. The reason I liked the envelope that I picked up, was that the lettering used small font, was discrete, to the point, and looked real.
In the envelope, I enclosed a personalized letter thanking my friend for joining the gay association. I tried to make my friend believe someone had really signed him up for the organization by making the letter look as real as possible. I made sure to incorporate a real building and phone numbers of the community college he attended and used a heavy weighted resume paper with a distinctive watermark. The language in the letter read similar to what follows.
Dear Mr. Thomas Johnsonman,
We have received your membership dues for $35 and would like to sincerely welcome you to the Braggs-Carlton University GALRA (Gay and Lesbian Rights Association). We appreciate your support and encourage our members to participate in all of our meetings and events, held on and off campus throughout the year.
If you have any questions, please call our campus headquarters office at 219-555-555. Our next meeting is scheduled for Tuesday, April 22 at 7:00 pm in the Cultural Arts building, room 221. Pizza and pop will be provided. We look forward to seeing you there and once again welcome to GALRA.
Scott Brennen, Braggs-Carlton University GALRA Chapter President
As soon as my friend received this letter, he about crapped his drawers and called the number I included as fast as he could to cancel his membership in the association. However, the number I gave was a general university administration office phone number I had obtained from the Internet. When he called, the administration office couldn’t help him and he was very confused. Tom thought perhaps the number in the letter was a typo, not even considering the letter might be a prank. After several phone calls and finding out there was no GALRA association, he finally realized the letter was a gag and called me to share a laugh.
You should create similar letters using association(s) your victim would not want to be a part of. For instance, do you have a liberal minded friend who is opposed to the NRA? Send them a similar welcome package, including real brochures about the organization and a letter very similar to the one above. The opportunities here are limitless!