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Food Prank Insertion

Image of apple for food prank

by Smidge Boyter on October 8, 2010


When I was in high school, I liked to take toothpicks and hide them in fruit and butter at my friend’s house for their parents to find later. Imagine uncovering a hidden piece of wood, as you butter your toast or bite into an apple. My friend’s mother was really freaked out and returned some tomatoes to the local grocery store with an earful for the produce manager. I sometimes wonder what the store clerk thought of the toothpicks.

Looking back, I probably should not have placed the toothpicks into foods that don’t need to be eaten with utensils. A good friend of mine, Steve, recently drove this point home by turning my joke into a joke of his own.

We were playing pool at a bar and he decided to order some food. His food came out while he was in the restroom and I happened to notice a toothpick holding his large toasted Rueben sandwich together. I took the opportunity to break up and hide the toothpick into his sandwich. As he was eating the sandwich, he began to cough and a few seconds later was holding his throat and choking violently. The thought instantly popped into my head, “Oh my God, I killed Steve.” image of toothpicksMy brain spun around thinking, “I am going to be in a shitload of trouble if he dies and they find out I was the cause. How am I going to explain this to his parents and girlfriend? What will I tell the police?” I was getting ready to do the old Heimlich maneuver thinking, “its not going to do a damn bit of good because its not food stuck in his throat, it’s a friggin toothpick and it’s caught in his trachea. Oh God, I am so screwed!” As I started praying and pounding the small of his back, asking him if he was ok, and hoping the toothpick would miraculously become dislodged, he began laughing.

That was one of the best counter jokes anyone has ever played on me because I thought I was going to get in some serious trouble and possibly serve jail time (oh yeah, also not to mention killing a good friend). I don’t believe that I will pull this prank ever again, but then again, when you think about it, never is a really long time.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Nicky May 17, 2011 at 8:47 am

Here’s an even better food prank!
You’ll need:
1 banana
1 straw of uncooked spaghetti (preferably the black ones with octopus ink or the dark full grain)
1 friend/co-worker that probably will eat a banana

Steps:
1. Insert spaghetti straw into banana through the tip and make sure not to leave a visible entry hole.
2. Brake of spaghetti straw and push the last bit in.
3. Wait about 24 hrs or more, by then the moisture of the banana will have softened the spaghetti straw enough.
4. Watch as the victim takes a bite and discovers a “worm” inside of the banana.
5. Laugh your ass off!

Let me know if you try it!

Best wishes,

Nicky in Sweden

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Jared May 27, 2011 at 1:43 pm

DON’T EVER DO THIS F#CKING PRANK. I did it once, and put the toothpicks in some muffins, though I didn’t do it as a prank, I was just shoving toothpicks into things out of sheer bordedom. Well, the next day I was called to my friends’ house, and was lectured by his parents that his mother almost died because of me. The dad had to literally reach in her throat to get it out, and she could have died because of my carelessness. If you’re ACTUALLY thinking about doing it again, you’re a f#cking @ss hole.

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